The first of these illnesses was that he was very often unable to speak; after speaking for two or three minutes, he would be overcome by a terrific thirst. He wrote in a letter that at a time when enemies even were being transformed into friends, by preventing unnecessary conversation, this helped maintain maximum sincerity. [^98] And the second illness was that now gifts, both material and immaterial, caused him to become ill. So much as a mouthful of food, if it was an unreciprocated gift, and even if it was from one of his closest students, would make him ill. [^99] So too, Bediuzzaman defined the visits paid to him by the thousands wanting to see and speak with him as "immaterial gifts" which he was unable to repay. Then at that time when the Risale-i Nur was spreading so rapidly and finding so many new readers, he had been given a state of mind, like an illness, whereby he was severely discomforted by the often excessive respect and veneration shown him and by conversing and shaking hands with his visitors, again so that he could preserve the maximum sincerity. [^100]

[^98]:Nursi, Emirdağ Lahikası, ii, 198-9.

[^99]:Ibid., 172.

[^100]:Ibid., 172-3, 155.

Thus, Bediuzzaman was able to receive only a very few of all those who came from all over Turkey and beyond to visit him. He published letters explaining this: due to these illnesses, it was his wish to meet only those concerned with the publication of the Risale-i Nur indeed he generally did not speak of other matters even with his students who accompanied him and attended to his needs. [^101] In a letter written by these students explaining this state of mind to those who came to visit him and had to return without seeing him, they wrote:

[^101]:Ibid., 155-6.

On numerous occasions we have understood that to shake hands and have his hand kissed is as distressing for Ustad's spirit as receiving a blow. Also he is severely distressed at being looked at and being studied. Even we may not look at him, although we attend to his needs, unless it is essential. We have understood the meaning and wisdom of this to be as follows:

Since the fundamental way of the Risale-i Nur is true sincerity, the occurrences of the present time — speaking with people and being shown excessive respect — affect him adversely and severely, because in this age of egotism they are signs of self-worship, hypocrisy, and artificiality. For he says, if those who want to meet with him want to do so for the Risale-i Nur and for the hereafter, the Risale-i Nur leaves no need for him; each of its millions of copies is as beneficial as ten Said's. If they want to meet with him in respect of this world and worldly matters, then since he has earnestly